Saturday, April 30, 2011

Book Review: Secure Daughters, Confident Sons

Recently, I received and read the book, "Secure Daughters, Confident Sons" as part of my Book Reviewer Program commitment.  

I love parenting books.  I love learning how I can better parent the two little lives God has given me.  I thought a book whose subtitle was, "How Parents Guide Their Children Into Authentic Masculinity and Femininity" might provide me an interesting read.

On the whole, the book was a quick read.  It was divided up into separate chapters regarding boys and girls.  So, most of my time was spent the most relevant chapters for me, about boys.  

But I will say I had a hard time with some of the things the author wrote.  Many of the things the author stated seemed based on his own limited and personal view of life and tended to be most focused towards the importance of a father in a boys life.  I felt alittle disappointed by the fact that a mother's role seemed both minute and inconsequential.  I'm ok with Dad being a boy's hero.  But Mom came out looking a bit like "chopped liver."

I don't think this book is going to be a parenting book I necessarily recommend.  There are few new ideas offered.  And of the ideas I hadn't heard of, many seemed based less on research and more on the author's opinion.

However, having said that, I found a few things interesting from the book.  So, I thought I'd list them here.

One of those is this: The author argues that "boys need to destroy the world."  The author writes, "While boys are brave rescuers, they're also inclined to destroy, for purposes both good and bad.  Something within a boy compels him to break and smash things.  This is why "fireman," "army man," and "policeman" are hugely popular answers to them "What do you want to be when you grow up, son?" question...Boys also love monster trucks because monster trucks smash and crush regular trucks.  The destroy-the-world factor explains why boys are also more attracted to fireworks, guns, army men and explosives."

The author failed to explained why he thought this need to "destroy the world" was significant, which is another reason I was unimpressed with the book.  But the mere observation was interesting to me.  I related better to this idea of an innate male desire towards being wild with insights from John Eldredge's "Wild At Heart" book with regard to God's design of men to be fighters and rescuers.

Nonetheless, I did like this quote, "Men lead because the male's orientation is to shape, mold, create and change things that are bad into something good."

I like this quote because it reminds me of the importance of helping my boys become strong and focused so they can lead appropriately, so they can help the widow, orphan and alien, so they can do what is right in the midst of what is wrong.

Another quote I liked is regarding the author's claim that boys want to "save the world."  The author writes, "Perseverance is the lesson our boys must learn in working to save the world.  For our boys, anything worth doing is going to be a difficult challenge."

I don't think the author helped me, as a mother, to do much for my boys (other than view my place in the family as being merely secondary to their father).  But what I gained from the book was the insight that my boys have a need deep within them to carry out justice and make a difference in our world.  I need to see all of their crashing of cars, flying of airplanes and love for firetrucks an infantile manifestation of a much deeper desire to fulfill their duty to care for others and fight for what is right.

A complimentary copy of this book was given by Multnomah for an honest review.


  1. Anonymous8:01 AM

    Does anyone know any creepy nursery rhymes - preferably ones from the 1800's and even farther back? Excluding Rock-a-Bya-Baby.
    Nursery Rhymes Lyrics

  2. Does anyone know any creepy nursery rhymes - preferably ones from the 1800's and even farther back? Excluding Rock-a-Bya-Baby.
    The Good Dinosaur Finger Family