Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Favorite Quotes From "Grace-Based Parenting"

"...how children turn out is far more contingent on what is going on inside them than outside them..." p. 5

"Your child's three driving inner needs are: 1.) a need for security, 2.) a need for significance, 3.) a need for strength." p.25

"Behavior that is clearly unacceptable to God shouldn't be condoned or tolerated." p. 39

"We are a lighthouse permanently established to show them the way home." p. 42

"Love is the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests, regardless of the cost." p. 52

"We've got to love them in the way God loves us - when they're unappreciative, when they don't deserve it, when it's inconvenient, when it is costly to us, even when it's painful." p. 54

"Allow me to let you in on a secret.  God has hardwired our skin to our souls." p. 63

"There is a deep longing in the heart of every child to 'make a difference.'  They are hard-wired by God to do more than take up space and suck up air.  They weren't born to be common denominators or mere faces in the crowd," p. 69

"God is a God of deliberateness.  He does nothing by trial and error." p. 70

"It is the child's parents that carry the greatest potential for influence.  We're the ones who donated (in most cases) the basic ingredients for their DNA.  We're the ones who were given the naming rights.  We're the ones who invest most of the time and put up most of the money toward our children's best interests.  That makes us the best candidates for grooming the limitless creativity God has built into their lives.  It also places us in the default position of being the single most influential obstacle to our children's developing a significant purpose." p. 71

"It's not so much the specific skills we help our children develop that guarantee their future greatness, but rather what those skills enable them to become." p. 76

"Fathers and mothers have lost the idea that the highest aspiration they might have for their children is for them to be wise - as priests, prophets or philosophers are wise.  Specialized competence and success are all that they [most fathers and mothers] can imagine." p. 77

"The God of purpose has built an inner need for significane into each one of our children.  They were born with it and long to have it developed into something that makes their lives significant." p. 83

"Children feel significant when they are regularly affirmed." p. 83

"Affirmation catches your children doing things right.  It notices when they do things you know don't come easy to them.  It applauds them when they fix a wrong or dig themselves out of a hole they've made (like bringing up a poor grade).  It thanks them for living our their moral principles and being willing to stand alone for their convictions." p. 85

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